29 days :)

So i'm already counting down to when i get to move back home. It feels so close sometimes and yet other times so far away. I think of small positives that make it seem closer. For example i only have 3 music classes left....i only have two more classes to learn new information in math. See things like that make it seem more bearable. Some sadness...i only have 4 more days with my daisies. I'm going to miss them so much. They have become so dear to my heart.
Well i have been unhealthy for 9 days now and i can't tell you how badly i just want to be healthy again. All that really remains is a sore throat but it's not your run of the mill sore throat. it's the sore throat from...well you know where. Good news is that it has felt okay several times which is a first since the last couple days there has been no relief. I'm just HOPING i'll wake up tomorrow morning and it will be gone :)
Oh, good news i hadn't shared. When i was home for spring break i met with an adviser at BSU and was told that anyone with a GPA from 3.5-4.0 is almost guaranteed entrance, and i have a 3.6-3.7 something :) sooooo I feel pretty good about that. Something NOT so good is i found out there is another class i might have to retake another class.. and not just ANY class - pathobiology. Which nearly killed me the first time around. I REALLY REALLY don't want to take it again. ughh makes me just sick to think of taking it again. But i'm going to try to petition it and see what happens.
Oh yeah, one good thing about having been sick. Well i am on a diet and have been for like a month, and i'm trying to lose some of the treacheries of college life. One of my goals was to be able to wear these jeans i bought on ebay that were too small. Well after i had been sick last week i put on the jeans i had been wearing and they were SO loose and even my belt where i usually put it was too big. So i tried on the jeans and guess what? They fit!! So happy about that. I guess i just need to get sick when i want to lose weight. haha i'm just kidding. it was not a very enjoyable week at all being sick.
Anyways that's all for now i guess :)

Life...

You know...isn't it amazing how you can have this great plan for your life that you feel is your path and what you are supposed to do but it seems SOOOO hard to get to it. It's hard not to consume over my failures.
Basically what I'm referring to is the fact that i found out recently that i can't apply to the nursing program at BSU until the fall for the spring. I have one class that i took at ISU that is slightly different then what BSU requires and so i'll have to take it this fall so i can apply and they don't offer it in the spring...so there is no other way to do it. Also i found out i have the wrong chemistry classes so i get to take one class in the summer and one class in the fall and apply for spring semester for Nursing...but i mean there is no guarantee i'll even get into the nursing program when i apply.. It's like this is my biggest aspiration in life yet it feels so impossible right now. I just want to get done be done with school. I only want to go to school so i can be a nurse...but at this rate who knows how long it will take. I have 5 semesters of school left when i actually get into the program so there is no saying when i will actually graduate. Kinda depressing not gunna lie. I keep telling myself just to trust God and that it's going to work out and that i'll make it through...but its way harder to do than it is to say.
I suppose on a positive is that In 3 months i'll be done with school at ISU so however long it takes me to graduate i'll be home with family so that's good. Makes me keep working hard ya know?
Well it's superbowl sunday and i think everyone is going to campus to watch it in a little something or another.. haha very descriptive right? well anyways i don't want to go there. i would be okay watching it at my brothers (even though it really smells and is dirty) but i don't want to sit in a chair for 3 hours. i want a couch or a lovesack or something. haha. so i don't know what i'm going to do.

Some thoughts

I have had every intention in writing in here for like 2 or 3 weeks. But you know the road to hell is lined with good intentions. Haha good thing this isn't spiritual or anything. I have had a lot of thoughts and other such information I have been wanting to share. One thought was brought about by my visit home. It just kinda makes you put things in a different perspective when you have been gone and you come back to a place that has carved a knew path without you in it. And with every person I have some sort of major themed thought...you know like :

“they really care about me”

“they really don't need me at all”

“they are kinda flaky”

“they are sweet”

“they act like know-it-all's”

“they are really bossy”

“they want to invest in my life

Yes I know these aren't necessarily all things I SHOULD be thinking...but nevertheless. I do. But it makes me evaluate my life. What do people say about me. There is a song by....Britt Nicole? I think. It's like “I wanna leave a legacy, how will they remember me.” And seriously, what is my legacy. What is your legacy? Like seriously, if you left this world today where would your fingerprints be. What lives would you have impacted. What lives would you have brought closer to Jesus, which would you have taken farther away by the way you lived or treated them? Just kinda thought provoking in my opinion. It really makes you want to live your life for everyone else, for Jesus, for anyone but yourself. That is the way it is supposed to be anyways right?

Second thought is a verse I read. And everyone has heard it. Or nearly everyone :) but this is in the message. And I so appreciated how it said it.

Luke 10:27 “He said, 'That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence –and that you love your neighbor as yourself.'”

I don't think I'm going to add anything else to that verse. It speaks for itself. It challenges with 4 words – passion, prayer, muscle, intelligence. What is that to you and how can you love God with that?

Well I think i'll end it there. Hope this was challenging for someone.

It's official:

My first semester at ISU is...well over.  I had my last final this morning for communications and i feel like i did pretty well. I think i  needed an 80 or something to get an A still. So i think i did at least that well. Patho i ended with a B and nutrition a...B-...ughh. i tried pretty hard. but i guess not hard enough.
Right now i'm sitting at my last 1 of work until i get to go home! so as soon as i get off i'm going and getting my stuff from my apartment and we're headed home. I can't even wait. You know i always thought "apartment" was spelled with two p's haha...i guess i thought wrong.
Well so first semester living on my own. what do i think? what have i learned?

*Mothers need no reason as to why something bugs the crap out of them...it just does. listen to them...it's good for you
*Addicting games....enough said
*Not enough sleep leads to viral infection followed by bacterial infection followed by a viral infection and two trips to the doctor. ha...ya. i feel so unhealthy.
*Living 20 seconds away from my brother makes me realize how extremely lazy i am sometimes.
*Giving someone a piggy back ride through the mud....well that's just not the best idea of the year.
*working two jobs is alright...unless it's the festival of trees and you work 50 hours in one week.
*5 year old little girls steal my heart
*having a Christmas program that was only practiced once is both completely precious and hillarious
*loving country music will subsequently lead your sister who looks up to you to love it.
*if you lead dirty dishes in the sink long enough the food on them will start to decompose (note: these were not MY dishes)
*sharing laundry cards with your brother works only when he forgets where he puts them and blames you
*The little triangle things in the corner of the room ...well those are spider traps. and the spiders inside are dead and if you step on it your room mates will probably be mad at you
*Don't try deep frying.....ever.
*Microwave cakes are amazing...but only if your microwave is big enough.
*Bring your phone charger everywhere. stupid phone


Well that's all i can think of for now :)
look forward to seeing everyone soon!!!
Merry christmas!!

Bored

So i'm at work and it's accreditation this week so i have absolutely nothing to do. so i decided i would just blog for the little while i still have to stay here. One cool thing is that yesterday and today they had food :) so i got to eat it to. Funny, it was from chartwells. So one job is feeding the other job. haha just kinda ironic in my opinion. I got my grade back for my speech that i did on tolerance. and i thought i was going to do really bad because everyone was confused. but i got a 89.6 :) which i'm happy for. I got a 96 on the last one...or was it a 94 i can't remember. So provided i do okay on the last one and i do okay on my final exam i should be okay. Our next set of speeches are our persuasive ones and i couldn't think of ANYTHING to do it on. so i was looking online at different topics i could do it on and i read this one suggestion, it was like treatment of the elderly. and then i remembered the other day this little old lady crossing the street and was looking like she was having some troubles. and i was going to go help her but i didn't wanna miss my bus.. i know...i'm terrible. i should have just helped her. but i see her every wednesdays. so next time i see her i will. but anyway i think i'm going to do my speech on being a serving citizen...or something...but like things we can do to help others. well i don't know it might not work out. but that is the only thought i have as of yet.

I get to go home tomorrow and i'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited to have a week off of school and work and i can spend time at home. Man. i'm looking forward to it so much. so this last little bit of work is killing me. i just want to leave! but when i get home i have a test and a quiz to do online. ewwwwww. and laundry and i need to clean my bathroom really bad before i leave. it's gross and i know my roommate won't clean it.

Oh and i figured out a way to not get TOO frustrated with my roommates not taking out the garbage. I'll just take it out before it gets to the point of disgusting and then that is where the thoughts go through my head "how can you not take that out!!!" So it's worked so far. I don't necessarily ENJOY it but it's not awful. and it doesn't make me wanna throw stuff at my roommates soooo :)

Ahhhh only 25 minutes left until i get to leave! Oh i was getting so mad. So for some reason or another i have TERRIBLE luck on farkle....and i don't even know why! Like seriously i just lose and lose and lose! well then i was playing and i was actually doing okay (against someone for chips) and my internet froze and kicked me off and i lost! but seriously i got like a 3000 point roll with no power dice! How amazing. i wanted to scream. but i kinda want to just quit playing farkle cause it makes me so mad. but at the same time it's so addicting.

Well i should probably just publish this post since it's gone on pretty long and i'm SURE it's just so exciting hu? ;)
K...publish

For those who were concerned...

In response to my last couple facebook updates that were indeed quite sad, well they were due to the fact that i got my letter from the nursing program here at ISU and i did not make it in. i was faced with some pretty big disappointed but Michael's extremely perfectly random trip home saved me from more. I realized God has a plan in all this and i was telling him that it's hard because i can't see the road but i told him i would trust him and walk this road with him if he would guide me. So I know everything will work out one way or the other and that he has MY best interest in mind and that he cares for me so deeply and he knows what is best for me even more than i do. I'm a little scared not going to lie...being a nurse is my dream...however going to school for years and years trying to get into a nursing program is not. But there is not a whole lot i have control over here. I'm excited to be going back home. I miss it so much. and being there makes me happy to think about living back there next year. Thank you to all who shared your concern with me i appreciate it. Oh an another good thing that comes out of this is i'll get to keep my work study job hopefully next semester so that's awesome.
Well i really need to write my speech for communications so i'll talk with you all later :)

Hmmm....

In just 3 more days October will be over. I guess i'm happy about it since well that means that is just a little closer to when this semester will be over and then this year. right? Anyways...these last couple of days have seriously been filled with so much.. anxiety? Yea i guess you could say anxiety. All the letters of decision from the nursing program have been sent...though i have yet to receive mine. It's honestly just killing me. I waited all day yesterday hoping it would be there when i got home and i got home and...it wasn't there. So today same thing. It's weird it's like i honestly feel disappointed already and i haven't even gotten my letter. It's like it seems foolish of me to think i honestly made it in...i mean seriously. Boise may be seeing me more than it has before next year. I guess we'll see. If it's not here today though. I might just die.
I can't remember if i have said this before or not. But i got another job. It's technically a work study but they aren't paying me out of work study or something. But it's the nursing department i am an office assistant. It's nice cause every day i get more work to do. Yesterday i actually worked almost the full 4 hours i was here. And today i made a run down to another building that was fun. It took like 20 minutes haha, cause i had to walk down but i caught a bus on the way back up.
Tonight i am going to a costume party at Turner Hall. If you dress up you get in for a free buffet..might as well?? I'm not really too excited about it though. mainly right now i'm not too excited about much. I'm tired and i want to sleep.
We had our flag football championship last night but the other team had to forfeit so we won. but we donated a couple of our players just so we could still play. so me and this other girl went over their and our team totally won. I played really good i think anyway. I got a touchdown and caught every ball that was thrown my way. Which was like 6 or so. So i was happy about it. But then our team went out to celebrate our "victory" and we stayed out till like 12. Man... it was fun but i wish i hadn't stayed up so late. Oh and we were picking animals we thought everyone was and everyone said i'm a sheep...??? mmmmmk. And michael.. haha. michael is an ant eater :) pretty appropriate in my book. ;) i still love you michael.
oh i had a close call earlier today. I was going to the restroom and was putting my backpack on the hook on the bathroom stalls but i sorta missed the hook and my backpack fell on the ground and my laptop was in it and i heard my laptop hit the ground. I was so scared i didn't even wanna take my laptop out to see what had happened. but i did, and it's all good. thank you jesus! i don't know what i would do if i broke my laptop. There is no way i can afford one.

It's been a while

This last weekend i got to go back home...Oh my...if you read any of my facebook comments you will know that it was amazing. I just can't even express how good it felt to be back in my house, in my room, with my family, in my church, with my friends. Oh goodness...just fabulous. I missed it so much. Well i mean i mess it already. On the drive back i ended up driving the whole way cause michael was so tired. It wasn't too bad because i really didn't feel THAT tired. plus music does alot. Then Sunday night i slept for 12 hours. wow. I think i can count on one hand how many times i've done that. but i still felt super tired yesterday. And then it was lame i got this really weird side ache, like you know one you would get while you are running. but i was just sitting it bed and i think it lasted for like an hour and half...maybe longer. it was kinda intermittent. but then we were supposed to have a flag football game at 11 last night but between my side ache and then my throat started hurting and then getting really dizzy i figured going would not be a good idea so i called Michael to tell him i wasn't coming and he said if i didn't they would have to forfeit so i went...and well i ended up scraping up my knee pretty bad from the turf. and we lost and it wasn't really that fun. But oh well, they got to play and i think they enjoyed that. And today i didn't have O-chem so i got to sleep in a little but i just feel so physically tired...And i found out i have to work tonight for like 3 hours. which is cool, but i didn't really want to. And we just had softball class and our team lost the tournament :( sad. I played catcher for like two innings and one inning they were throwing it home and the runner (Brad) literally fell on top of me...so i got some more scrapes on both legs and some bruises. But oh well....my legs didn't look pretty before hand anyways.
It was pretty funny, while i was home bryce and i were sitting outside in the grass and i felt this weird thing on my leg and i look down and there was a worm crawling on me!!! Eww. why would a worm be crawling on my leg!?? It was pretty gross.
Well i can't really think of anything else to say...my brain feels kinda fried...and don't even know why. i guess i need sleep or something.

It's half way through the week

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day. Want to know why? Well i gave my speech...and it was fabulous. I felt bad because i was 5th speaker out of 7 and during all the speeches i kept thinking that mine was really good. The one difficulty was mine was kinda long. The first time i practiced it was 17 minutes long, and it was supposed to be 6-7 minutes. But anyway i was really exciting when i got up to do mine, and i did it pretty well i thought. Well after class i was about to leave and my professor asked me if i could stay a second. i was like.. "uhh yeah" So he waited till everyone left and he said, "I just wanted to say that you're speech was very good. I was impressed, it had everything i was looking for in a speech. Probably the only critique i would give you is to slow down. (not like i don't know that. i do tend to talk fast normally :) ). I was wondering if it would be alright when i give my evaluations in class if i use your speech as an example of positive things i look for." Naturally i said yes. Then he also asked if i had time that he wanted to record it so he could keep it on record as a good speech to show later. Oh my goodness. Can i tell you how extremely happy i was????? So very. I was like flying. Oh yeah and he said i got an A which is a big deal for his class because earlier when he was going over his syllabus he was saying he doesn't give out very many A's, only to speakers he thinks do superior jobs. So i felt very successful.
That was really the most exciting thing. But it did make the rest of my day go pretty well, just becuase i was in such a good mood i think.
Oh man, i kinda feel bad. I checked my schedule for work, and i work Friday. But michael doesn't work at all this weekend. Kinda sad. I guess it's probably just because i'm still in training.
And, i'm pretty excited for this weekend because CJ and Katelyn are coming down i think. or up...whichever it is. And Katelyn is going to stay with me for the weekend. It should be pretty fun. I'm looking forward to it, and i hope it works out.
Well i have quite a bit of homework to do and i have Daisies tonight and flag football too!! So excited. 
Talk to you all later!

Alrighty Tighty!

So it's been a while since i've blogged. I have been pretty busy. I got a job!! And not only that i got 20 hours this weekend. It's pretty different than what i'm used to. It's hard to get used to the mentality that like i get paid for standing there sometimes. There main phrase is "hurry up and wait" It's catering so we are paid to have stuff ready at a certain time so we hurry up to get everything set up and then we get done before the event starts then we just have to wait for everyone to get there and be ready to eat. Then we serve and after we serve the main meal we wait...and then we clear it then....they usually have some sort of main thing and we just wait for them to all clear out before we can clean up. But the best part, best part! We get to eat all the good food. mmmmm. My first nice we had prime rib, salmon *which was amazing* and CHEESECAKE! I was SO amazingly happy. Oh my gosh. Except they had to throw away like 20 pieces i wanted to take them all home. But it was so good. And all the chiefs are awesome and like giving us food. One thing that is really confusing is there is another Ashley there sooo... we never know who people are talking to. So today we decided that they need to call me AJ, but it still is hard when they call her ashley...cause i still respond.
But anyway basically i'm saying it's a pretty sweet job. The people i work with are really awesome, i like them.
Oh yeah and thursday....it sucked so bad. At softball practice i was playing catcher and i was trying to catch a throw down from second base and the girl that threw it didn't have a very good arm so it was pretty short. So i stepped up and bent down but i didn't get up close enough and it bounced right in front of me and came up and hit me in the knee. It even left seem marks. It hurt so bad. the bruise is like as big as...as big as a regular baseball, or bigger. and it has the little dots where the seem was. Well THEN i was standing being first base coach and i was thinking about how bad my knee hurt when the third basemen on the other team threw it to his first basemen and the first baseman missed it and it hit me in the shin. It hurt so so so so bad. Worse than my knee. It got a huge goose egg on it. I didn't know you're legs could get goose eggs, i thought it was just your head. but it did. It was as big as a full sized egg i'm sure. haha. Well that bruise is not that big yet, but it still hurts a ton. And it hurts to even just put pressure on my leg. it's crazy. Oh yeah and they are different legs so both of them hurt. And my MCL has been causing me some major problems lately, which is quite frustrating.
So Tuesday i give my speech and i'm giving it on Homsechooling. I'm really exciting. I just finished writing it and i think it should be pretty good. I really don't mind giving speeches.
Well i kinda feel like i'm going to fall asleep so. I'm going to go :)